One more bit of Euro-bashing, and I promise to move on to something more important, like Matthew McConaughey’s ongoing transition into the world’s most totally carved hobo. Today, an Austrian Airlines flight made an unscheduled stop and evacuated the passengers so workers could find and trap an escaped hamster before it could wreak who knows what kind of havoc among the passengers and crew.

Ironically, if they’d just had a few snakes on board this problem would have been taken care of in a snap (so to speak). Although I believe EU regulations require all European snakes to eat a vegan diet. And no genetically modified fruits or vegetables, either.