While the unwashed masses (including myself) can attest to the extreme difficulty of breaking into the publishing world, anyone with a reality television show can get there with one pump of the fist. In that regard, today marks the arrival Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’s debut novel, A Shore Thing, which can perhaps be best summarized by this lone excerpt:

Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.

That’s certainly quite the visual, and it leads one to wonder whether Snooki actually hired a ghostwriter (as is standard procedure for celebrities) or actually dictated this thing (all by herself!) into some “Jersey Shore”-compatible voice recognition software. Regardless, A Shore Thing comes out today and is available on Amazon as well as from your favourite brick-and-mortar bookseller. If you’re terribly stupid, you’ll buy it.