Innocently enough, Italy rejoices in its victory:

Yet things are not as innocuous as they might seem. Let’s get the story of the man behind the man. First came the celebrities, Cruise and Beckham, respectively:

The Gay Wedgie Strategy shot on the left is compliments of Gary The Ex-Donkey, and on the right is an acrobatic stunt known as the Lift-And-Separate:

This maneuver is called the Blow-By-Blow, whereupon you stun your opponents with a surprise blowjob. It works every time:

Even the soccer fans are just gay as hell, and some of them cannot even spell:

These last two shots are just too disturbing for words, but they leave us with our final conclusion. Soccer is SO fucking gay:

UPDATE: A plethora of photographic evidence in support of the Blow-By-Blow maneuver is pouring into my inbox. These two shots are particularly striking, and I send my gratitude to the informants. Since I’m assuming you’d prefer to remain anonymous, I’ll return the favour in some way in the near future.