Sorry about Your Career Setback, Ms. Fox

By Mr. Atoz in Film, Heidi Montag, Megan Fox, Michael Bay

Heidi Montag

Megan Fox won’t be returning in Transformers 3, and fans of the franchise are full of questions: “Was she pushed? Did she jump? Who’s reading this to me, anyway?” Fortunately for those fans, Heidi Montag has the answers. And the answer, predictably, enough, is… Heidi Montag! Heidi doesn’t seem to realize that Bay is now looking for a new Mikaela Baynes—in other words, someone kinda sexy. There is no opening for a new Skids or Mudflap—someone mostly synthetic and jaw-grindingly irritating. Regardless, she jumped right on the case and twittered Mr. Bay:

Michael Bay I love your work! I know what a artistic brilliant genius you are! Cast me in the next Transformers.

Twittering is a good move, particularly when you don’t have an agent. Among other things, it’s a subtle demonstration that Heidi’s thumbs are more limber than the digits of Megan Fox. And “a artistic” just highlights Heidi’s childlike approach to literacy and life in general. Personally, I think Bay ought to take Heidi up on this. He could plop her down in the middle of his living room with a bunch of Transformers toys, shoot 45 minutes of home video, and probably get six decent carwashes out of the deal.

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