The course of true love never did run smooth. Last month Lady GaGa broke up with her boyfriend Speedy (what is the fad for boyfriends with ridiculous names?), and she’s looking for a replacement. But romantic, soulful guys had best not apply, if you can trust her friend Rob Fusari. The record producer gave GaGa this less than glowing endorsement:

She’s got a little bit of a Tin Man heart. I’m not trying to sound mean but she eats them up and spits them out. To her men are like candy – take the wrapper off, chew it up a few times.”

So, gentlemen. Now you know what GaGa has to offer: no perceptible heart, and a possible smorgasbord of genitalia. The whole package, so to speak.