This guy is wall to wall, shag-carpeted class. Spencer Pratt, who accused Lauren Conrad of making a sex tape with her former boyfriend Jason Wahler—something Conrad has heatedly denied—has a sex tape of his own. Supposedly the video shows Spence and some of his club kid buddies sexing it up with some Brazilian babes. Whether the senhorinas were hired for the occasion, or just had atrocious taste in men, is unclear.

What really puts the frosting on this triple-layer turd cake is Spencer’s marketing plan for the video. Supposedly he approached a video editor in Hollywood and asked him to polish up the tape a little. Spencer would then sell it off and rake in the profits, while loudly protesting that the tape had been “stolen.” Refreshingly, the editor wanted nothing to do with the vile piece of filth. (The video, that is. For all I know, he’s still on speaking terms with Spencer.) Nice to know there are some depths to which people will not stoop, and even better to know we won’t be seeing this any time soon.

Meanwhile, Spencer, you stay classy. People like Paris Hilton and Brooke Hogan ought to be sending you muffin baskets for setting a standard of behavior that actually makes them look good.