At 6:00 p.m. EST, game time will begin for the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Seattle Seahawks. At least we have the promising prospect of the live Superbowl chat at Six Meat Buffet, since the halftime show is sure to be a dud. A brief recap of recent Superbowl halftimes leading up to their demise:

Superbowl XXVII – Michael Jackson & 3,500 local children: In retrospect, this halftime show entitled “Heal The World” was kinda creepy, considering that Neverland Ranch soon became a hotbed of child prOnography. After this performance, Michael has endured such travesties as being forced to attend his own trial, several more plastic surgeries, and continued skin whitening rituals.

Superbowl XXXV – Aerosmith, Britney Spears This halftime show followed the so-called Kings of Pop and Rock motif. Old men and young women gyrated together, kinda like an Aerosmith video! Since then, Britney has married loser wannabe Kevin Federline and fallen into a decrepit pit of her own making. Aerosmith has retained their old geezer rock status. Ah, sweet memories.

Superbowl XXXVI – U2 In this photo, you can witness Bono in the midst of his “I Hate Fooking Capitalism!” stage, which of course, has nothing to do with the Superbowl or the rest of the football enterprise. Bono continues his crusade now flanked by the likes of Bill and Melinda Gates. He also claims inventor status concerning the mullet. The jury remains undecided on this issue.

Superbowl XXXVII – Shania Twain, No Doubt and Sting:

Though this halftime show left little to discuss, shortly thereafter, the No Doubt drummer, Adrian Young, was soon thereafter named Playgirl magazine’s Sexiest Man in Music. Gwen Stefani immediately regretted spending seven years of her young adult life boning bassist Tony Kanal.

Superbowl XXXVIII – MTV’s Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake: Janet Jackson “accidentally” reveals her pierced, hairy boobie at the end of the halftime madness. According to a press release, NFL officials were reportedly aghast:

“The show was offensive, inappropriate and embarrassing to us and our fans. We will change our policy, our people and our processes for managing the halftime entertainment in the future in order to deal far more effectively with the quality of this aspect of the Super Bowl.”

Dammit, they weren’t joking.

Superbowl XXXIX – Paul McCartney: Featuring rock anthems, Paul sent out subliminal messges concerning fur, leather, and the almighty PETA. In addition, McCartney sent out sooper seekrit messages to the veggie sex gods and to his fans who keep the dream alive. Paul has followed this appearance with a continued unnatural love for animals, which though uncool, allows him to keep pissing people off. Yawn.

Superbowl XL – Rolling Stones Sigh. The Rolling Stones are reportedly thrilled that they’ll be the halftime highlight for the program watched by more than 133 million U.S. viewers. In addition, this year’s game is projected to reach 1 billion worldwide in 225 countries. One can only hope this will include Russian President Vladimir Putin, who walked off with the diamond-encrusted 2005 Superbowl ring of New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft. Not to worry, The Patriots have a few extras on hand!

UPDATE: Vivi provides details of the live chat, including (crap!) my phone number.