Take That, Brad Pitt!

By Bedhead in Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn

jenvincemovie.jpg

Jennifer Aniston just cannot stop telling everyone how great her life is without Brad Pitt. She has taken great pains to declare that she had a crush on current boytoy Vince Vaughn for several years, even before she and Brad Pitt started having marital problems. jenaniston65.jpgIn addition, we must know that Vince Vaughan is absolutely great in bed and the best lover she’s ever had. Mad skillz, indeed.

It is true that I’ve lost most respect for Brad Pitt due to his complete hypocrisy with his winery nonsense and his urging of the rebuilding of Atlantis to impress Angelina Jolie. However, I would venture a guess that Brad is pretty damn good in the sack.

Vince Vaughn, not so much. After all, the practice of smoking two packs of ciggies per day and generally looking like a bloated alchy prompted Chevy Chase to declare that he looks like some refrigerator repairman. Vince probably lacks stamina, drips sweat on Jennifer’s forehead, and suffers from premature ejaculation. Ahem.

Finally, Jennifer declares that even though her movie career is going down faster than Tara Reid on a Saturday night fabulously successful, she would lower herself to reprise her role as Rachel Green for a Friends reunion:

“The only thing I can think of doing is maybe for fun doing a Thanksgiving episode. Our Thanksgiving episodes were really fun.”

I would tend to agree with Jennifer, as one of my favourite Friends episodes just happens to be a Thanksgiving installment. “The One With The Rumor” featured guest star Brad Pitt mouthing, “I. HATE. YOU.” to Jennifer’s character and declaring himself cofounder of the “I Hate Rachel Green Club.” Yeah, let’s reprise that episode!



9 comments

Oh dear…*snort*…hee hee!

That description of Vaughn’s skills in the sack have me looking at him a totally, and unflattering, light.

Aniston probably jumps on top…

07.19.06 | 5:19 am

Ew. She must be desperate.

07.19.06 | 6:51 am

Sigh. It was with mudh regret that I gave Vince the smackdown.

He used to be teh hawt! :mrgreen:

07.19.06 | 8:52 am

More proof that “funny men are sexy” is total bullshit.

07.19.06 | 9:48 am
Mr. Atoz

I lost a whole lot of respect for Brad when he announced that Brangelina’s movie on the beheading of Daniel Pearl would be an “honest, non-judgmental” project that would promote “mutual understanding.” An honest treatment of that incident would be judgmental as hell and would promote anger at the perpetrators.

I’d still like to see a reprise of that Thanksgiving “Friends” episode, though. That really was fun.

07.19.06 | 9:52 am
Margi

I’m almost ashamed to admit that when he was in Swingers, I had a mad crush on Vince.

Now? Notsomuch. Especially with THAT review of his possible “skilz.”

AHEH.

07.19.06 | 10:45 am

“Vince probably lacks stamina, drips sweat on Jennifer”’s forehead, and suffers from premature ejaculation.”

Cool. Now I can claim to do it like a movie star. Watch out ladies, here I come.

07.19.06 | 10:55 am

Jennifer Aniston smokes like a chimney too, and I’m sure she’s not averse to the odd glass of vino. What else could propel her into the sack with the refrigerator repair guy?

07.19.06 | 12:08 pm

Where may I sign up for the “I Hate Rachel” club? Are there similar clubs for the other five?

Seriously, a reunion? Can’t NBC let that damned show die? It wasn’t funny, the characters were the most vapid and uninteresting slugs who ever lived, and the pilot episode scored a big red “F” with the test audience.

Don’t they remember how many great shows had bad reunion movies (that category wouldn’t include Friends, but still)? “Green Acres”, for instance, was one of the funniest sitcoms ever, but in 1990 they aired a reunion telefilm that Eddie Albert was contractually obliged to do; he signed the contract without reading the script and tried (and obviously failed) to get out once he read it. Too much sanctimonious drivel (it was about some “evil” developer trying to buy up Hooterville and develop it) and none of the surreal edges that made the original so memorable.

And then 2000′s “Mary and Rhoda”, reuniting two characters from “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” didn’t make it after all.

And then there’s the sequel/revival series. Oy vey:

The New Perry Mason (no original cast members)

Archie Bunker’s Place (the only remotely successful one, with all of Norman Lear’s straw men and none of the edge)

Sanford (without son)

What’s Happening Now (which was okay until Rerun left)

The Brady Bunch Variety Hour

The Brady Brides

The Bradys (a supposedly serious drama)

Zorro and Son

The New Monkees (don’t ask)

The New Gidget (no original cast members either)

The Golden Palace

and the granddaddy of them all…AfterMASH

At least “Joey” crashed and burned. Even “Friends” fans wouldn’t watch it.

07.21.06 | 1:03 am


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