Elsa Pataky et les jambes totalement magnifique. (UMC)
Jane Fonda still thinks she’s Barbarella sexy. (CB)
Madonna says buh-bye to Guy Richie. (CS)
Eva Longoria is, like, four feet tall. (Ayyyy!)
Mariah Carey: Kathy Lee Gifford with a tan. (IBBB)
Kirk Cameron nods enthusiastically at phallus. (GG)
Lily Allen had better run like hell. Aieeee! (SOMG)
Deborah Harry has a new single + ScarJo interaction. (PB)
Heather Locklear is officially a dork. (TB)
Jessica Alba, the baby, and that “Cash” guy. (CR)
Heidi Montag’s idiocy knows no bounds. (DR)
Kiefer Sutherland to get married to a presumably lovely “Siobhan.” Congratulations… bitch. (GB)
Puff Daddy’s new unpronounceable name, a.k.a. “the bird.” (POTP)
Buffy the Genocidal Maniac: Let’s get metaphysical, bitches. (Flea)
Mother of Tears is not for those uninitiated to Dario Argento. (Pajiba)
