Amber Heard: Just keeping up with The Joneses. (UMC)
La Lohan goes batshit crazy; kicked out of hotel. (CS)
Sarah Jessica Parker would rather make millions than hang with her babies. (CB)
Brad Pitt seems unusually recognizable here. (SOMG)
Paris v. Bunch Of Trannies: No contest whatsoever. (WIMB)
Katherine Heigl set to ruin a child’s life. (AG)
Amy Winehouse: Is a “comeback” even possible? I’ll believe it when I see it. (PB)
Best Comics Of 5769: Which takes first? (Heeb)
Suzanne Somers needs to shut her fucking mouth. (TB)
An Unholy Trinity heads out to Vegas, baby. (GB)
Pink & Shakira: Some emo boy’s greatest fantasy. (Ayyyy!)
Top 10 Hollywood Bulk-Ups: Christian Bale, Jason Statham & Eli Roth. (MF)
