Mariah Carey: When no one else will grab your ass, sometimes a girl’s gotta help herself out. (UMC)
Perez Hilton: Chicken Scratch Diva. (CS)
Less Attractive Men Do It Better. (Celebitchy)
Eva Longoria, Phone Home, Phone Home. (Ayyyy!)
Penelope Cruz does the bikini thing; swaps more spit with Javier Bardem. (TB)
Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen Catfight? Excellent. (PB)
Harriet Carter: Finally, I can pass the celebrity sex dream torch. (IBBB)
Ashley Tisdale: It’s one nose job, not two. Get it straight, bitches. (GB)
O-Face: A Jenna Bush Pictorial. (WIMB)
Ashton Kutcher: Only semi-interesting, even with a recent hep scare. (POTP)
Katie Holmes: That old man is sucking the life out of her. (HO)
Richie Sambora: So much for rehab. DUI much? (SOMG)
