Megan Fox shuts mouth & looks so much prettier. (AG)
Channing Tatum already has the penis-related horror story of the year, and it’s only January! (CS)
George Clooney is “Mariah Carey f*cked up right now.” (CB)
Eva Mendes greases up & rolls around in sand. (Yeeeah!)
David Beckham changes pants on the soccer field. (POTP)
Woody Allen: What he’d look like as a 9-year-old girl. (LS)
Mark Wahlberg’s sperm is mighty & victorious. (SOMG)
72-Year-Old Morgan Freeman agrees to try and impregnate his 22-year-old stepdaughter. (GB)
Blue Suede Jews: Have you heard of Shmelvis? (Heeb)
Tom Cruise wins the sexiest midget (ever!) contest. (TB)
Top 10 Signs Lady Gaga Is a Pawn of Occult Forces: Nah, she’s just fucking with us. (LW)
6 Insane Fan Theories That Actually Make Great Movies Better: So true. (Cracked)
