Britney Spears demands to be seen as a sex object. (Celebrity Smack)

Usher decides not to marry a criminal. (Celebitchy)

Kurt Russell and Jack Nicholson: Battle of the Man Boobies. (City Rag)

No Reservations: As titillating as a Hillary Clinton/Elizabeth Dole pillow fight. (Pajiba)

Angelina Jolie is not thrilled about Brad Pitt and Gwenyth Paltrow’s onscreen reunion. (Glitterati)

Nicole Richie: Jail is the new black. (Evil Beet)

Jennifer Lopez lets it slip that El Cantante can be loosely translated as “The Mighty Orange Bitch.” (The Blemish)

Lindsay Lohan thinks celebrities can do whatever the fuck they want. (IBBB)

Jessica Alba and her perfect bikini wax. Hot! (Queen Of Snark)

Jessica Alba walks down the street in Santa Monica. Hot! (Daily Stab)