In the world of international commerce, China’s lighthearted approach to the laws governing piracy and trademark infringement can be a real kick in the nuts. Quite literally, sometimes. Just ask David Beckham, who is righteously pissed after learning that his pirated image is being used to sell USA Selikon capsules, a Chinese knockoff of a certain little blue pill. The ads use some old interview footage of David, dubbed over with a voice (hopefully, a slightly more virile voice) saying, “Want to know how I can keep being strong and running on the football field? USA Selikon capsules help me a lot. It’s also the secret weapon with which I can satisfy Victoria.” The series of ads also features Sean Connery, telling viewers, “with the help of USA Selikon capsules, I was praised by Barbara that I’m still the James Bond, forever 25. I have told all my aged friends, ‘You should try USA Selikon capsules’.” Sean’s wife, incidentally, is named Micheline.
Easily the best line of the ad campaign, however, goes to Keanu Reeves. In his ad, the robotic actor informs viewers, “”The feelings after my kidneys got washed by USA Selikon capsules are surprising. And my girlfriends were also surprised.” I don’t care if the dubbing was as inept and phony as those Clutch Cargo celebrity interviews Conan O’Brien used to do, I’d pay to see that. Just a little reminder that the subtleties of Chinese advertising can be profoundly mystifying to us gwailo types. Not to mention highly unethical.
