As you all well know, Peter Doherty watch is an ongoing matter, which keeps me on the prowl for amusing anecdotes concerning our favourite junkie wastrel. However, most recent headlines have only pointed towards uneventful items such as future gigs and all that rubbish that a musician is supposed to do. Some news outlets have even lamented Pete’s goodness, attributing his newfound halo to an impending visit from Santa. These reports of good behaviour are bollocks, for any decent junkie knows better than to stay away from drugs. It was only a matter of time before things became hilariously morose, and Holy Moly brings us the grim details:

Old Pete was in a recording studio last weekend, apparently not just walking around as if he were in a Tim Burton cartoon, but actually recording some of that shit music again (five seconds of hook stretched out over three and a half minutes of sonic torture – hey, daddio, get with it!) and while the paps are away the mouse will play.

Well, if you consider jacking a load of horse into your arm “playing” that is. Pete’s arm was so fed up with being used as indie’s voodoo doll it decided to give up the ghost and, erm, burst (“Too much heroin and a burst artery or something – Apparenty.” – Dr. HM).

Anyway, it EXPLODED while he was there and the private doctor’s speed dial was rung. Problem is, by the time the doctor arrived, the drugs had kicked in on dusty Pete and he kept running away from the doctor. So in some form of opiate Benny Hill tribute they had to chase him around the room before finally manhandling him to hospital.

Presumably, this incident occurred during recording sessions for Babyshambles’ third studio album. However, since our antihero has made yet another triumphant return, I predict that any further progress may be somewhat deterred. You know, wayward limbs and whatnot.