First Lindsay Lohan checks in to rehab.

Then for the first time in her life Pamela Anderson isn’t flashing her beavage for the camera.

And you thought she couldn’t be modest. While you’re seeing signs of improvement I a divine signal beaming right through my aluminum foil deflector beanie. The end is near.

If Britney Spears ends up pregnant I’m headed to my seekrit compound in the mountains, you beyatches can ride out the hoards of flying monkeys and one-eyed goats if you want.

All I’m saying is that y’all best be makin’ your peace and preparing for some pretty crazy shit to start going down, you know if you believe in that sort of thing. I’m already hoarding all the Cheetos, Slim-Jims, Twinkies and NuGrape I can get my grubby little paws on and I’ve got the moped gassed up and ready to roll out just in case all hell breaks loose. ‘tis better to teh safe than teh sorry, I ways say that you know.

On the upside, if there is one, Pamela is looking less like a pre-op tranny.

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