Sienna Miller is getting over the embarrassment of starring in G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (a film one reviewer praised as “more pleasurable than a prolapsed colon”) by hooking up with a new man. The good news is, he’s single. So much for the good news. Here’s the rest: his name is George Barker, he’s a club DJ specializing in “psytrance” music, and his stage name is Slinky Wizard. Also, he insists that everyone call him Slinky Wizard. All the time. So: Sienna traded in Balthazar Getty, who seemed like a pretty decent catch once you got past the fact that he’s a filthy philandering skunk, for someone Pete Wentz would describe as a douche. This woman’s taste in men is so relentlessly wretched that I’m really beginning to think I might have a shot.