Cosmopolitan magazine covers never fail to produce a few snickers, for the visuals may change, but the headlines remain the same: “The Thing Every Man Needs A Woman To Say,” “The 6 Signs A Guy Is Hooked,” “His Butt,” “What Falling In Love Feels Like For Him,” “Secrets Of Male Arousal,” “15 Articles Guy Pray Never Run In Cosmo,” “The Surprising Trait 80% Of Men Find Sexy,” as well as the perennial favourite, “I Love Girls But Kiss Men.” Oh, you asked for proof?
Several more inadverently hilarious Cosmo covers are below:
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9 comments
Oh, Cosmo..
Cosmo ceased to be relevant decades ago and is only moderately interesting to women so lacking in self-respect that they’ll drop several dollars on a rag that focuses almost exclusively on how to attract/bed/keep/blow/love a man.
My daughter was a teenager when ‘Cosmo Girl’ came out and, not surprisingly, it was the same crap. My daughter would pourchase them and I would promptly throw them in the trash.
How about this for a ‘how to get/keep a man’: figure out who the hell you are, get an education and establish your financial independence, commit yourself to making a contribution to society and to getting to know yourself well enough to know just what the hell it is that you’re attracted to. And, while we’re at it, how about stopping with the ‘hook-ups’ and the friggin binge drinking and the obsessing about being a size 2 and spending all of your disposable income on shit that doesn’t really contribute in any meaningful way to your life.
And stop giving a shit about Britney/Lindsay/Ashlee, etc, etc, etc…
Sorry.
Something about that magazine makes me want to scream. Loudly.
Cosmo puts way too much effort into trying figure out what’s in a man’s head. It’s really much simpler than all this, girls.
1) Mmmm. Sex.
2) Mmmm. TV.
3) Mmmm. Beer.
4) I need to get out of here so I can hang with the guys and talk about sex and TV while drinking a lot of beer.
Straight men are mostly just varying degrees of being Homer Simpson.
It really is as simple as that. Anyone who tells you otherwise doesn’t know anything.
Well, damn, jmflynny. That’s about spot on.
Obviously that’s bad for us guys, as we can’t score those hookups any more. But we don’t stick around for the hookups. They’re not the ones we marry, they’re not the ones we go to war for.
Slug, so true! These covers look exactly like they did when I was in high school and read this trash. It’s like soft porn.
This confirms my long-held belief…
that Cosmopolitan is porn for women. Via Special Agent Bedhead. YIPS for Jen, formerly Jen Speaks: The link is embeded in the cpation but here it is as well…….
What strikes me as funny about these 6 covers is every photo model is in the same essential pose: one hand on hip with the other hand lower down, long wavy hair slightly blown off shoulders, low-cut top displaying cleavage. Is this just a coincidence, or are they all really exactly like this?
PEOPLE, YOU’RE MISSING THE POINT! Sorry to shout, but sheesh. Pick any one of these Cosmo covers that AB has so tirelessly researched and posted for our entertainment. Now look closely. Do you notice how ironic some of the titles are when juxtaposed with a particular celeb? Like Michelle Rodriguez with ‘Lost Bikini’…I won’t spoil them all, but this article is too WAY good for everyone to dismiss with boring comments about Cosmo and its obsession with sex.
Jessica Biel on the cover…’The Girlfriend Habit that He’ll Love You More For’. bwaahahahahaha!
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