When a would-be starlet enrolls in Fame Whoring 101, she doesn’t make it through the first day of class without memorizing the Prime Directive of the Attention Whore: Sex Will Get You Publicity. This explains why Eva Mendes used her appearance at Mercedes-Benz Fashion week, where she was promoting her line of Vida fine quality bed linen, to share the highly relevant news that she’s had sex in all fifty states (with annoying ad pop-up). The best states, humping-wise? Arizona and Colorado. The worst? Alaska:

Maybe it was the clear air, or the quiet, or the endless sky,” she noted. “Whatever it was, it was really, really good.”…. [Regarding Alaska] “I’d really like a do-over on that state,” Mendes said, before suggesting publicists at Alaska Air “sponsor a trip for me there for that purpose.”

This sounds both implausible—no one, ever, has had sex in North Dakota—and a little obsessive, as if Eva had her own version of Tyrone Slothrop’s map of London in Gravity’s Rainbow. Still, as a way of generating ink and pixels for her silly bedsheets, it’s absolutely foolproof. When Eva Mendes has a line of bath towels to promote, we’ll probably get the details of her first excitingly naughty experience with anal sex. It’s a pity Joe Francis didn’t meet this woman a few years back, because we could have had an absolutely epic Girls Gone Wild video.