In another example of federal regulation run amok, the feds have stepped in and ruined the Ryegate Testicle Festival. The trouble started back in the 1990s, when the festival”””s new managers decided to start charging for their signature dish of Rocky Mountain oysters”””i.e., fresh calf testicles. Unfortunately, any meat you charge for must be inspected by the USDA, and that doesn”””t include locally ”””harvested””? calf testicles. So the festival was forced to switch to commercially available frozen bull testicles, which connoisseurs find repugnant. ”””Bull nuts taste like shoe leather,””? said one aficionado. ”””You can have ”””em.””? (It really depends on how the bull testicles are prepared. Trust me on this one.)

I like to picture the Rygate Testicle Festival as it was back in a simpler time, when burly men and women from the High Plains of Montana could sit down together and enjoy a steaming plate of calves””” testicles without a bunch of federal busybodies looking over their shoulders. At the end of the festival they probably selected some fresh-faced local teen to reign as beauty queen over the event”””Belle of the Balls, or something. Which is probably prohibited by Title IX.

(H/t to Jonah at The Corner.)