On the other hand, she might well be a tomb raider. If the National Enquirer can be believed—and quite often, it can’t—one reason the Brangelina ménage pulled up stakes and relocated to New Orleans was so that Angelina could pursue her voodoo studies. The report (which doesn’t seem to have any direct links) alleges that Angelina is studying several times a week with a voodoo priestess and is assembling a library of books on voodoo and the occult in general.

This would be great news, if true. It would be one more sign of the inexorable return of serious crazy to Angelina’s life, which would make her life a far more entertaining spectator sport for the rest of us. Also, it would give a certain amount of credibility to an absolutely preposterous report that Angelina used voodoo to break up Brad’s marriage to Jennifer Aniston. If there’s any truth to that, then evidently Angelina knows what she’s doing. As long as Brad Pitt doesn’t start shuffling around loudly demanding “Braaiiins!!” while giving off an odor like a pork chop that someone left sitting on the radiator. Zombie Brad would be carrying this voodoo thing entirely too far.