Paris Hilton, Heidi Montag, and The Hills. It’s like a perfect shitstorm of celebrity crap culture. First Paris offered her opinion on the MTV reality show, which happens to be the dubious claim to fame for her current boy toy, the one she was fornicating with all over Cannes earlier this week. Doug Reinhardt might be a Hills alumnus, but even he’s no fan of the show, which Paris called “lame and fake,” and added that her boyfriend thought it was “cheesy.” Coming from Paris, that’s got to sting. It would be like finding out that even Paris Hilton thought you were a diseased, empty-headed slut. Predictably, the first person in the Hills cast to respond was Heidi Montag, who might be the only woman in the northern hemisphere more annoying than Paris Hilton:

She has her opinion, and she’s just being protective [of Doug] because no one wanted to see Doug on it, right? Because he only lasted what? 3 episodes? I don’t know if it’s because of the reality [part of the show] that she’s talking about, but I think she’s done reality too.”

Ooh, snap. This whole spat resembles some sort of Alien-vs.-Predator faceoff, in the sense that ideally it would end in an orgy of mutual destruction. We won’t be that lucky, but for the moment it’s nice to see two people who have irritated the hell out of the rest of us irritating each other for a change.