David Hasselhoff: Gay as a French Horn

By Mr. Atoz in Hasselhoff, Perfumery

the hoffAnother item for my Christmas list. David Hasselhoff has joined every other celebrity and celebri-wannabe on the freakin””” planet and announced that he will be releasing a trademark personalized scent. Multiple scents, actually, for both men and women. Because everyone loves the Hoff, irrespective of gender or orientation; and, as David says so disturbingly: “”””what better way to start your day than by spraying yourself with me and then heading out to face the world?”

The Hoff is already marketing a line of Hasselhoff themed clothing (the ”””Don”””t Hassle the Hoff””? T-shirts actually sound kind of cool), so this venture into toiletries will more or less complete his transformation into Posh Spice. In retrospective, this isn”””t a complete shock. Hasselhoff recently told a bemused Irish audience that his relationship with Kitt on Knight Rider was not entirely platonic. “Kitt was constantly asking, ‘Do you want me to take you home Michael?’ in that very camp voice of his.” At this rate I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that The Hoff was pleasuring Mike Brady between takes.



10 comments

Jenny

I think they’ve decided to call it “Crazy as a Shit House Rat.”

10.10.06 | 3:29 pm
Jenny

I think they’ve decided to call it “Crazy as a Shit House Rat.”

10.10.06 | 3:29 pm
MoP

Now you too can huff the Hoff!

10.10.06 | 6:09 pm
MoP

Now you too can huff the Hoff!

10.10.06 | 6:09 pm
Wickedpinto

This guy surrounded himself throughout his career with Pre Hep C Pam anderson, Carmen Electra, Nicole Eggert, and all kinds of sweet sweet ass. Even the big haired broad from Knight Rider was pretty hot at the time.

considering that? Let me get anything, that will let me get their stank all over me (except for pam, I think she will smell like newly processed vinyl, only covered with anal sex, and pooter gas.

10.10.06 | 9:34 pm
Wickedpinto

This guy surrounded himself throughout his career with Pre Hep C Pam anderson, Carmen Electra, Nicole Eggert, and all kinds of sweet sweet ass. Even the big haired broad from Knight Rider was pretty hot at the time.

considering that? Let me get anything, that will let me get their stank all over me (except for pam, I think she will smell like newly processed vinyl, only covered with anal sex, and pooter gas.

10.10.06 | 9:34 pm

Ew, just ew.

10.11.06 | 8:01 pm

Ew, just ew.

10.11.06 | 8:01 pm

To think I touched that damn car when I was at Universal Studios!

EWWWWW!

10.12.06 | 7:08 pm

To think I touched that damn car when I was at Universal Studios!

EWWWWW!

10.12.06 | 7:08 pm


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