Forget sex appeal & star quality; in order to be a serious actress, you have to be on a mission. Daphne Zuniga & Sheryl Crow, for example, are anti-toilet paper. Sienna Miller is against climate change. Former Victoria’s Secret model Geena Davis is against gender stereotyping. Pam Anderson shills for PETA, as does Elvira. Sharon Stone is a tireless promoter of oral sex.
Daryl Hannah went to Ecuador to advise its president on the environment & also has a problem with sexual slavery. Jane Fonda took the Vagina Monologues to the West Bank to promote peace. In Trippin, Cameron Diaz & Drew Barrymore left their squillion-dollar mansions for junkets in Third World hellholes, where they gushed over tribal lifestyles such as unsafe water, infant mortality, starvation, malnutrition, & dung.
The seriously concerned are Goodwill Ambassadors, a select A-list that includes Nicole Kidman, Mia Farrow (an authority on Darfur), Tea Leoni, Alyssa Milano, Susan Sarandon, Lucy Liu, Liv Tyler, Jessica Lange, Julia Ormond, Naomi Watts, Linda Gray, & tired old Stalinist Vanessa Redgrave, who whales on Israel, Guantanamo & the welfare of Chechyan terrorists.
And the Queen of Goodwill is Angelina Jolie, UN pin-up, serial adopter, tireless humanitarian, shameless home wrecker, & hectoring bore. Not only did she cry for 2 years over the suffering of the downtrodden, but she wants to be remembered for her humanitarian work, like Mother Theresa with a great rack.
Gazillionaire Angelina never hesitates to lecture us on how the US should spend its taxpayers’ hard-earned dollars, even if it means throwing $$$ down the toilet. As for UN corruption, UN-sponsored brothels, UN obstruction of justice, & UN anti-Semitism, Empress Angelina sniffs "There’s a lot that people don’t know about the UN & what it does." Stupid peasants!
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I was thinking, you know how Cupcakes Hilton said she’s not going to “play” dumb any more, and that she has found her faith in God?
Maybe she’ll become one of these sanctimonious asshats too! (In which case, I’ll miss the dumb, drunk, spoiled brat version of her. Terribly.
And…email me some time, Jeffy! I miss you!
HAHA, now I’m spamming the comments.
Is there a message with the fact that you have Sharon Stone’s oral sex thing linked with Elvira’s animals?
Is that the latest animal “rights” issue?
[...] You proles really ought to emulate your betters! [...]
Hey, Sharon Stone is a complete whackjob when it comes to blowjobs.
And when it comes to George Clooney.
And, you know, life.
I used to think Angelina was appalling when she was running around making out with her brother and getting tattoos with Billy Bob’s vial of blood swinging around her neck. But she’s so much worse now that she’s Her Serene Highness. One more photo of her sucking her cheeks in next to some UN bureaucrat….
Oh god, if Paris is a Goodwill Ambassador, that will really be jumping the shark. I rarely agree with Madonna, but it was delicious when she pissed off Queen Angelina by saying “”I’m not interested in going in there like an idiot and going, ‘OK, I’m going to build ten orphanages and I’ll see you guys later’.” HA!
I’m so glad you linked to that article about “Trippin’.” Diaz and Barrymore exposed themselves as such vacuous idiots on that show. They should really never be permitted to live it down.
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