Those of you who don’t already have tickets for Paris Hilton’s upcoming concert tour to promote her new album (for which she partly co-wrote some of the songs), just put down the revolver and chill. Thanks to Al Gore’s internet and this amazing video (shot at a recent Las Vegas performance), you can see Paris working her magic onstage without spending a penny.

And you’ll be glad you saved your money. The video’s sound quality is atrocious, which is probably a blessing, but the thing to watch here is the dancing. It’s only 2006 and Paris can already make a convincing claim to the the title Sluttiest Woman of the Decade, but her slut-moves are astoundingly inept. Honestly, you could probably get a more seductive and more gracefully executed bump-’n'-grind routine from a randomly selected Amish woman.