The Name Is Bond. Emo Bond.

Quantum of Solace, the sequel to Casino Royale, is reportedly halfway through its filming stint in the “moonlike landscape” of northern Chile, which is pinch-hitting for Bolivia. All of this atmosphere is supposed to conjure up Bond’s sense of mourning over Vesper Lynd — quite understandable — but verges on the dreaded emo phenomenon:

It’s a place that director Marc Forster said evokes Bond’s “isolation and loneliness.”

“He is an assassin, he is a secret agent, and that reflects a certain lifestyle, which is lonely,” said Forster.

Forster, the youngest-ever Bond director at 39, was hired on by longtime producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson because of his emotionally intense films like Monster’s Ball and The Kite Runner.

What’s even worse than the prospect of an emo Bond is a villain with no disturbing physical characteristics other than a general sense of creepiness. As villain Dominic Greene, Mathieu Amalric says that he actually wanted his character to possess a kickass physical attribute on par with the ubiquitous bleeding eye, but the filmmakers denied him this “shortcut.” What the hell - this guy is gonna be forced to pull out his acting skills? The bleeding eye actually sounds way cooler and should be used on all future Bond villains. (Don’t make me photoshop that bitch again!)

The film’s producers are quick to point out that, despite Bond’s broken heart and the ever-disturbing presence of bona fide acting on the set of Quantum of Solace, James Bond will still get it up for a one-night stand with Agent Fields. So, not all is lost, or so it would appear. One would think, that Bond have would gone for Camille, the character played by Olga Kurylenko; however, her character has been described as possessing “a masculine spirit” — whatever that means.

As a departing tidbit, Daniel Craig would like to establish some rules for would-be photographers:

“People tend to use their mobile phones on me a lot, they carefully bring them round and take a quick picture. You know, if I’m up for it, fine. You have to smile at these things. But I tell you, trying to take pictures of me when I have a pee is not welcome and never will be. And yes, that has happened.”

Hmm. Pictures in the loo must mean that Daniel Craig has really made it in Hollywood. Some more tasteful imagery — stills from Quantum of Solace — may be found below:

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