Not to worry—this isn’t the gazillionth post about Paris Hilton. Instead, it’s the gazillionth post about Lindsay Lohan and her current stint in rehab. While She Who Must Not Be Named is languishing as a guest of the state, Lindsay isn’t letting her stay at the Promises rehab facility cramp her style. Sure, she was a little under the weather for the first few days, while detox purged her system of all that alcohol, cocaine, Percocet, vicodin, and probably freon. But now Lindsay’s back at the top of her game. She won’t share a room, won’t attend group therapy, and is using a contraband Blackberry to ask her friends to smuggle drugs to her. All of her attention is focused on her upcoming twenty-first birthday bash in Vegas next month, where Lindsay plans to decorate the premises with wandering Paris Hilton lookalikes. (The source seems to believe Lindsay thinks this stunt “will cheer Paris up.” Yeah, right.) Yet another source says, “She’s not planning a sober party.”

I had high hopes for this shindig, centered mainly on things like fistfights, arrests, and visits to the emergency room. Then came the crash, the arrest, and rehab, and I figured Lindsay’s plans for a Roman orgy with better drugs were probably finished. But this kid is unstoppable. Determination like this is what separates her from lesser partytards. It’s like watching the career of a young, freckled Elvis Presley with boobs.

(Via WWTDD.)