NOTE: This was originally posted on January 10th, 2005, but since it would seem that a certain person that I adore has lost some perspective (or has he?), I’m crossing my fingers and hitting “republish” on one of my favourites:

Oh how the mind changes when it takes on the blogging lifestyle. A few observations about how some of our kind tend to think:

1. You think everyone cares about your opinions: They don’t. They only care about mine.

2. You stop having normal experiences: Every event you participate following your initial blog post will be constantly interrupted as you simultaneously live the adventure and write the corresponding blog post in your head. Much to your dismay, someone will always crack that story before you do. You start to wonder exactly how Instapundit always gets the scoop first. Conspiracy theories abound.

3. You will care what other people think: Even if you really don’t. Stats will become an important part of your blogging life (also a subconscious measure of inherent self-worth), even though you detest math. You’ll be glad your web-stalker is gone but regret losing the hits. When stats go down, you will start padding your posts with words like “kirsten dunst” and “nipples.”

4. You will become more savvy in regard to news and current affairs. You’ll start reading several news sources to usher in your muses, resulting in more posts. Unfortunately, you will focus on items that are weird, quirky, or bizarre, thereby eliminating your ability to discuss these items with non-bloggers in real-life without coming off like the freak you really are.

5. You will feel the need to post, even when you have nothing to say. Just in case other people are reading. Guilt will actually settle in. I’m a slave for you.

6. You stop hearing from non-blogging friends: You’re behind on their lives, but they feel like they haven’t missed a beat with you, because they keep up with you through your blog. Also, they are tired of talking to you because you constantly ask them “So, when are you going to get a blog?” You laugh, but our local blog mafia has coerced four independent, strong-willed, intelligent, people into blogging…and we’re working on another. Resistance is futile.

7. People irritate you more than usual outside the blogosphere: At least your readers understand. Why talk to those irritating, clueless, inane people in your office, when you can sneak a quick peek at your favorite blogs for clever quips, interesting insight, and comment-based conversations? You expect your friends to be witty and clever, as you are “surrounded” by bright, witty people with bright witty blogs. You simply cannot fathom how the rest of the world survives without this distraction. More than likely, your significant other will find the blogging bemusedly adorable, but he will never really “get it.”

8. A well-thought out essay, even somewhat researched, that proves your point(s) will earn few or no comments: Conversely, something that means nothing to you will earn at least thirty-seven comments. If you find yourself begging your blogpals for mercy comments and posting about the chirping of crickets, rest assured that the shame WILL go away.

9. You will stop having normal conversations with family and friends: Real life conversations will go like this. “Oh, hey, I saw So-And-So in concert and the weirdest thing happened…” Friend, “Yeah, I know, I read about it on your blog.” Silence. Friend, “Did I tell you that I’m…” You, “Blog.” Friend, “Yeah.”

10. In the dreaded case of a slow posting day: Your first thought tends to be, “Why aren’t you all busy shirking your jobs and entertaining me? I need INTELLECTUAL STIMULATION, or, barring that, something really silly and totally useless to peruse. Seriously. I’m bored to tears here people. For the love of fucking g*d, POST SOMETHING. NOW.”

So….do you ever have any of these thoughts? Yeah. Me neither.

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