It seemed inevitable yet rather abrupt when Oasis decided to break up the band a mere 15 minutes before a Paris gig. Sure, we all knew that the Gallagher brothers had some major issues with each other, but these issues certainly weren’t going anywhere, so couldn’t they have played that one last gig instead of disappointing their waiting fans? Actually, no, they couldn’t… because Liam had smashed every single one of he and Noel’s guitars to pieces. Let’s pass the mic over to Mr. Holy Moly:

Liam has always fancied himself as a guitarist, much to Noel’s hilarity, and insisted on carrying around a guitar worth an eye-watering amount of money (my source said upwards of £s;50,000) and louching around strumming it in a Lennon-esque manner whenever he got chance.

Well the atmosphere was already as awkward as a nun at a stag night, so when Noel walked in and made a pithy comment about Liam’s playing – the red mist descended. Problem was, as is usually the case with Liam, it went slightly wrong. Without thinking, Liam stood up and hurled the guitar at Noel. Naturally it missed and landed next at his feet instead.

Realising Liam had mistakenly thrown his own guitar, Noel looked down, shrugged and stamped seven bells of shit out of it until it resembled the bottom of a hamsters cage.

My source says that what followed was pure comedy. As the realisation that Liam had inadvertently destroyed his own pride and joy he glanced to the side of stage where there stood a huge shining rack, overflowing with Noel’s guitars, all primed and ready for the stage. Everything then went into slow motion, Liam charging towards the stage, the tour manager screaming “FOOOOOOKING HEEEEELLLL SOMEBODY STOOOP HIIIIIIIM”, the roadies and crew all unsuccessfully trying to rugby tackle Liam to the ground as he weaved through them like that bit in Flash Gordon.

That last detail conjures up images of Liam prancing about in silver underwear. Such a nice touch.