Celebrity crazy comes in two basic flavors. You’ve got the Britney Spears variety: theatrical, hard to look away from, but basically pretty sad and not all that interesting. Then there,s another variety: quieter, but more interesting and ultimately far more dangerous. Think Ernst Stavro Blofeld, or Frank Sinatra.

Back in her carefree youth, Angelina Jolie typified the first kind of crazy, although she carried it off a lot better than these kooky kids nowadays. Lately she’s been more quiet; aside from stealing Jennifer Aniston’s husband and the occasional Third World child, her life has been fairly respectable. Luckily, it turns out that deep down inside she’s just been taking her crazy to the next level. Last Friday, a secretive council meeting somewhere in New York voted to induct Angelina into the Council on Foreign Relations. It’s a bit difficult to explain exactly how the CFR fits into the governmental organizational chart, but they’re in the same general neighborhood as the Trilateral Commission and the Illuminati. Plenty of websites, like this one or this one, can fill you in on the details. The bottom line here is that once Angelina becomes head of the CFR (and I suspect that’s exactly what she’s got in mind) she’ll be more or less Queen of the Universe.

Somehow I never really expected that when the New World Order took control we’d find ourselves in the iron grip of an inked up, hot mess of a babe like Angelina, but I guess it could have been worse. As CFR member Carol Adelman said, it’s not like Paris Hilton is being nominated.