Paris Hilton’s upcoming visit to the Big House is getting good reviews from just about everyone except for that tiny demographic segment of people named Paris Hilton. Case in point: Judge Michael T. Sauer, who handed down the sentence, got a standing ovation from the congregation when he arrived at church yesterday. However, details of life at the Century Regional Detention Facility, where Paris will be enjoying an extended stay at the taxpayers’ expense, suggest that Paris won’t be calling for an encore. According to the Daily News, Paris’s weekly wardrobe at the facility will consist of two blue jumpsuits, a bra, two pairs of panties, and two pairs of socks. Paris usually changes clothes more often than that before lunchtime.

The News interviewed people who were visiting inmates at the facility, and none of them described it as a luxury spot. Nick DiOrio, who was visiting his girlfriend, reported, “She says she’d rather be in state prison than be here. This is worse.” Another woman, who was visiting her daughter, said, “The bedding is very minimal. And my daughter says the food is disgusting.” On the bright side, you don’t get that much food in the first place. Breakfast is a hard boiled egg, a bowl of cold cereal, and a small carton of milk. Lunch is baloney and bread with either mustard or mayonnaise, possibly an apple, and some watered down juice. Dinner is “hot,” according to the article, but otherwise undescribed. Sounds like something Paris might enjoy.

Actually, Paris is none too happy about all this. She says the sentence was “cruel and unwarranted,” and her attorneys have already announced they plan to appeal. But whether or not she does the time for committing the crime, one publicity expert doesn’t expect Paris to learn much from this:

“It will actually increase her star appeal in a very sick and demented way,” said longtime publicist Michael Levine. “There’s a segment of our society that’s somehow engaged in the soap opera that is Paris Hilton, and this is a very compelling plot line in the soap opera.”

So Paris the Sociopathic Celebutard is likely to be with us for a while. Only time will tell whether this soap opera will run for as many seasons as The Anna Nicole Smith Story.