“Let’s avoid all the Halloween stuff. This is like a yearly trauma for me”

- Billy Corgan, October 1993, 120 Minutes Interview

As long-time readers will recognize ad nauseum, the Agent has maintained a long-running crush on Billy Corgan. A fifteen-year unrequited crush, to be precise. Every piece of music that Billy Corgan has written, played, produced, recorded, or rubbed his armpits upon rests in my collection. Even his kinda crappy book of poetry (and I so hate poetry) sits in one of my bookcases. Some would call me a die-hard fan, but unfortunately, I can only be as such for Leonard Cohen, and that is another story for another time.

Untold hours and dollars have been spent by hours truly to collect Gish, Pisces Iscariot, Siamese Dream, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Adore, The Future Embrace, The Aeroplane Flies High, Judas-O, and the soundtracks – Stigmata, Batman and Robin, Lost Highway – even the Zwan stuff was pretty damn good. Yet this devotion was not unconditional, for the Machina album almost killed me from disappointment. As such, when the Pumpkins split up and Billy went on to form his new band, Zwan, all was right in the world.

A few years later, Zwan is no more and Billy has announced that The Smashing Pumpkins have reunited. SmashingPumpkins.com provides no details, just a mailing list signup form. D’Arcy Wretsky and James Iha have not rejoined the band, but drummer Jimmy Chamberlain has returned, presumably to stick his nose up Billy’s ass for a few more years.

Jimmy has also evidently been relegated to updating the Smashing Pumpkins’ official MySpace profile, and he posted the following message:

“I’m here to tell you that great things are on track for the future. As some of you know we are indeed creating music again. Music that comes from a place so pure it will burn the lies off the very souls of those who try to discount it. We have arrived at a place in our lives where truth and honesty prevail and we are creating from that place.”

“It’s all part of one big cosmic journey, in so that everyone reading this is hitching their silver chord to the Great Pumpkin Space Train! Hope this helps clear some things up for you. Don’t forget to cast your eyes skyward this weekend…. You may see a shooting star.”

A shooting star? Gag me with a fucking spoon. Enough with the predictions, boys. It was great while it lasted, but sometimes you have to let it just die already, and may The Smashing Pumpkins R.I.P.