Megan Fox owes Kanye West a muffin basket or something for showing that it’s possible to be a much, much worse person than Megan Fox. But Kanye’s little distraction wasn’t going to stop the Megan Fox/Jennifer’s Body publicity juggernaut, which will continue to roll for another week or so. That’s not all bad news, though. For one thing, I have a new hero in the form of interviewer Matt Zaller, who got to sit down with Megan and live out a fantasy shared by millions of people–he made her shut the hell up for a couple of minutes. Zaller was interviewing Megan and her costar Johnny Simmons, but he showed no interest whatsoever in Megan. The raving homosexual told her to hush once or twice, and finally insisted she put a bag over her head while he conducted an astonishingly boring interview with Simmons about his previous picture, Hotel for Dogs. Whatever her faults, Megan gets props for going along with the joke.

On second thought, forget about the muffin basket. Megan should send that bag to Kanye. Possibly a whole lot of bags. And a ball gag. And a lifetime supply of Antabuse. We’ve learned how to deal with the Megan Fox issue; now it’s time to solve the Kanye West problem once and for all.