Blake Fielder-Civil is on his way back to jail, after roughly a month of closely supervised freedom. How this rates a “SHOCK!” headline from anyone is beyond me; on the other hand, if Blake passed his A-levels and went on to pursue a quiet career in academia I’d probably swallow my tongue. The noted drug user, brawler, witness corrupter and general waste of skin flunked a court-ordered drug test, which makes his commitment to rehab look a bit sketchy. So Blake goes back in the can, probably until 2010.

This development throws something of a monkeywrench into Blake’s plans to win Amy back, despite his earlier promise to stay the hell away from her (something Amy seems increasingly fine with). Blake had hoped to woo Amy with an appearance on Celebrity Big Brother–predictably, one of her favorite shows—but the prospect of watching Blake languishing in a cell, subject to random strip searches and drug tests, seems a little too Orwellian to fit with the Big Brother format. Although it would make for some rather gratifying television.