Don’t worry, mates. No actual pictures of Pete Doherty’s taint will be found in this post, as opposed to that other time we spoke this horrible abomination. (Don’t go looking there, btw.)

Right. I’m not so sure that I believe this little tidbit of Pete Doherty mischief, but, if this is true, someone got a new ass tattoo. Well, let’s make that half a tattoo:

[N]ow that Pete is clean and has announced to the world he wants to be called Peter, he has developed an alarming aversion to needles. Particularly when they’re tattoo needles and are attacking his bum.

The tortured rhymer recently went to a Birmingham tattooist to have the title of his fave poem Wasteland, by verse scribbler TS Eliot, inked on him. But this being our Pete, he decided to have his homage to high culture put on his bum.

Alas, however, the tattoo artist only managed to get as far as “waste” and had to finish because Pete was in too much pain. Crying out in agony, the artist formerly known as the poetic pin-cushion begged the man to stop.

The unfinished title – the poem also inspired his new solo album Grace/Wastelands – will add to the collection of Pete’s body art.

Well, if this is true, I’m fairly convinced that Peter was only being ironic. After all, this is a bloke who, not too terribly long ago, lived in a flat with the word “Toilet” spray-painted over the bathroom door. Now, true to my promise, here are some more (clothed) pictures of Pete Doherty’s ass. Good times, mates.