No one ever said Matthew McConaughey could dance. The above photos, taken last year in Australia while Matthew on a break from filming Fool’s Gold, illustrate this fact perfectly. Still, he’s an adorably sexy slob, who enjoys getting loose at a variety of functions, including a Texas Longhorns football game and his 37th Birthday Party:

Forget about parties though, for our favourite slacker romantic recently took girfriend Camila Alves out for dinner and dancing at NYC’s nightspot-fortress, Socialista:

Blending an array of “slo-mo tango-waltz-flamenco,” the 38-year-old followed up the eyesore with a favorite move — balancing on an imaginary surfboard. However, hanging 10 only made the We Are Marshall stud look “a lot like an angry chimp leaping with his arms in the air.”

But the hilarity wasn’t over… not by a long shot. “He then squatted down by Camila’s ankles and hopped around her a bit,” recalls the partygoer. “At one point he was dancing very close to her, doing some stilted, awkward grinding as he stuck his tongue out in her face.”

If you’re wondering where the photographic evidence of this latest McConaughey madness might be, you probably won’t find any. Located in NYC’s West Village, the ironically named Cuban-themed Socialista club (Sting and Trudie Styler are investors) carries a $600 minimum tab per table, and that’s just for entrance to the first-floor cafe. Above the eatery is a lounge, not open to the public, where owner Armin Amiri shields celebrities from prying eyes. Recently, Amiri has (allegedly) used heavy-handed tactics to protect Javier Bardem from the paparazzi’s flashbulbs, including the confiscation of a photog’s memory card that supposedly contained snaps of Bardem making out with current flame Penelope Cruz. Of course, Cruz is also the former flame of McConaughey, which makes this whole thing weirder than Fidel Castro doing the chicken dance at any given Oktoberfest.

Remember to Make Every McConaughey Count:

• Monsieur, With This McConaughey You Are Really Spoiling Us
• No One Puts McConaughey In A Corner
• So Easy, No Wonder McConaughey is #1
• Crunch All You Want. We’ll Make McConaughey.
• Make It A McConaughey Night
• Ladies Love M.D. McConaughey
• McConaugheyhey Show You Good Time
• McConaughey Toothbrush pr0n
• Everything Tastes Better With A Slice Of McConaughey
• Making Summer More Bearable For Oversexed Women Everywhere
• Matthew McConaughey Stretches His Chakras