Steve Guttenberg”””s career high was the endless string of drecky Police Academy movies back in the 1980s. But now he”””s back, baby. Just last year he starred in the remake of The Poseidon Adventure (no, not that one; I”””m talking about NBC”””s made-for-TV remake) and did a guest spot as a pedophile on UPN”””s Veronica Mars. Now he”””s ready for””” just about anything, judging by this interview from Wednesday”””s Hallmark Channel party. (You’ll have to scroll down for it.) His remarks don”””t really lend themselves to excerpting, because they”””re just wall-to-wall, shag-carpeted, batshit crazy, but here are a few random selections:

On ”””The Poseidon Adventure:””?

Bro! They spent $200 million and sucked. We spent like 15 and we were great”””. Bro! What else can I say.

On ”””Veronica Mars:””?

I would watch the tapes over and over. Have you seen them? Have you seen them? Have you watched them over and over and over? You”””ll see things that you can”””t believe. You”””ll look at me and you”””ll go, ”””That”””s unbelievable””? and that”””s what I say too. I looked at myself and said, ”””It”””s unbelievable.””?

On upcoming projects:

I wasn”””t able to bring the script home. But I guess this Martian, sort of like ”””Mork & Mindy,””? he lands in their backyard, big like ”””Superman””? thing, and they run out there and they pop open this egg, and this little Jew jumps out. Now I don”””t know if you”””ve noticed, but I”””m not very Jew-y looking. I”””m sort of semi-Jew-y looking. I could be maybe Italian? You know, in the right position?

There”””s much, much more, and you”””ll want to read all of it. Then you”””ll want to go back and read last year”””s meltdown, Finding Wisdom in Steve Guttenberg”””s Bible. We might be looking at the future Mr. Paula Abdul here.

H/t to The Defamer.