I love zombie movies because they can be any budget.

Do you smell what I’m stepping in? An open mind on budgetary matters could really cut the excess from the Congressional power of the purse. In all seriousness, some of our greatest political leaders have fallen from the grace of Hollywood, so this potential candidacy didn’t strike me as entirely odd. Commonsensical quotes don’t particularly hurt one’s political appeal either:

I am a huge supporter of the military. I have always thought of them as our guardians, and when our guardians are making less than the poverty line, and children are suffering because their parents decided to join the military, well, I get very upset. I feel that instead of sending billions to the Pentagon’s pet projects, it should go to the troops.

As Evil Glenn would no doubt affirm, “Indeed.” In a fleeting and ephemeral moment, scenes from True Romance danced in my head. Imagine an inaugural ball hosted by a President who can really get down on the dance floor. I was thrilled at the prospect, but alas, my little heart has been crushed into a zillion pieces by word that ’tis likely a hoax.

Dammit. I was so looking forward to aiding the Walken campaign “before his opponents have their boots on.” This development, of course, would allow me to rewrite the Nancy Sinatra song as planned, without the idiotic hornblast of the General Lee in its wake.