And,as it turns out, it isn’t. A year or so back, some European consortium was daft enough to start marketing a canned, industrialized version of sparkling Prosecco wine—and, with considerable hooplah, made the even dafter decision to hire Paris Hilton as the public face of this classy, sophisticated beverage. This sounds like a culinary match as natural as Colt .40 and a blunt, but for some reason things haven’t worked out. Sales of Prosecco Rich have been flat, food critics hate it, and this week the Italian Agriculture Ministry banned it (NSFW, if your workplace actually believes naked Paris Hilton is sexy.). Unlike America, where you can leave a can of Reddi-Wip on the radiator for a few days and sell it as “aerosol cheese,” the Italians have a decidedly stodgy attitude about how things are made and what they can be called. It turns out that a downmarket Bartles & Jaymes knockoff can’t really call itself “Prosecco wine.”

Not to worry. Gunther Aloys, the mastermind behind this product, will not be deterred. “We’ll just change its name,” he said, “and we’re talking with Paris about extending our contract to market the new product.” He also said he’s expecting to sell five million cans of the stuff this year—a little mystifying, since there aren’t many European cultural stereotypes that mention the absence of tastebuds. Maybe Prosecco Rich goes well with lutefisk or deep-fried Mars bars.