For a woman whose greatest achievement in life is sprouting a butt with its own zip code, Kim Kardashian has an awesome talent for getting media coverage. And, in the wake of the horrific attack Charla Nash suffered at the hands (and teeth) of Sandra Herold’s pet chimpanzee Travis, what better way for Kim to get a little more ink and pixels than to go out and get a pet chimp? Kim wrote a blog post about the littlest Kardashian, and used up roughly half her annual supply of exclamation points in the process:
WE GOT A MONKEY!!!! Her name is Suzy, she is three years old, and she is a handful!… Having a monkey is a lot of work. Suzy always has her diaper on and we are the ones who have to change it! It’s just like having an infant but worse because Suzy runs around like a teenager! She always needs to be fed, drinks out of a bottle and she loves Capri Sun juices!
This isn’t quite as cool as watching Kim try to raise an adorable grizzly cub, but a creature with big yellow fangs and eight times the strength of a human that behaves like a violent, sociopathic two-year-old makes a pretty good substitute. As a bonus, Kim finally has an intellectual peer to interact with, and we can expect Season Three of Keeping Up with the Kardashians to be filled with moments of face-ripping hilarity. Let’s watch, shall we?
