Hey, I can handle a shotgun, but, to be perfectly honest, I’ve faced up to the fact that when the zombie of Montclaire Moors starts crawling out of my garden, it’s all over, and we’re basically screwed as a civilization. Some Canadian (must be a zombie-obsessed country) scientists did some Jedi mind shit mathematical analysis that confirmed my view:

[A] strategy of capturing or curing the zombies would only put off the inevitable. In their scientific paper, the authors conclude that humanity’s only hope is to “hit them [the undead] hard and hit them often.” They added: “It’s imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else… we are all in a great deal of trouble.”

The researchers’ full report can be found in PDF form here (Ch. 4 of Infectious Disease Modelling Research Progress), and it’s fascinating stuff but rather sobering as well. Now, imagine that a zombie outbreak actually occurred in North America. Can you imagine the red tape one would go through not to be jailed for “inhumanely” killing zombies? Seriously. Politicos will find a way to argue about absolutely anything, and while our trusted leaders meet to debate throwing a bailout towards us, which would surely fix the problem, we’re gonna be dead and deader. So, when it comes to putting a “Dept of Zombie Disposal” sticker on a “badass” semi-offroad vehicle, I gotta ask, “What is the fucking point here?”

Imagery: Source