Right now, the world might hold a disproportionate number of balding, smartass guys with an indefinable aura of cool. Jack Nicholson, Mr. Cool himself, admits that he might have fathered as many as 9,000 children back in the freewheeling Sixties. “I used to live so freely,” the old codger reminisced in a recent interview. What this implies about the even sluttier Seventies doesn’t bear thinking about.

Nicholson also said that men—himself included—forget about women an hour after they’ve bedded them, and generally have more in common with dogs than with human females. So it’s just possible that the Jack Nicholson Experience wasn’t all that memorable for the thousands of women Jack loved and left. Of course, these days Jack looks more like Ted Kennedy than his studly, disco-era former self, so his surly bedroom manner might be something of a moot point.