The Hoff is getting hassled more than usual lately. His divorce from Pamela Bach is turning increasingly nasty, and last week the battle went nuclear when Bach presented the court with documents stating that Hasselhoff had a history of drunken violent rages. Twisting the knife, The Hoff”””s ex also claimed that when drunk he had a tendency to lose control of his sphincters. Meanwhile, Hasselhoff has also backed out of co-hosting the MTV European Video Music Awards on grounds that the show seemed excesively tacky. To be perfectly accurate, having a judge on America”””s Got Talent tell you that your award show is tacky is not so much ”””The Hoff getting hassled””? as ”””The Hoff delivering a majestically brutal smackdown.””?
These two problems might have a single solution. Steve-O of Jackass fame, who”””s walking proof that the theory of evolution is basically just wishful thinking, makes a habit of hosing down the red carpet whenever he goes to the Academy Awards. I can”””t think of any awards show that deserves a warm golden shower of respect and affection more than the MTV Awards, and The Hoff might be just the man to deliver it. Considering some of the acts that have performed the last few years, a pissfest probably would class up the evening. (Warning: the ”””hosing down””? link includes a picture of Steve-O flashing his unit that shouldn”””t be viewed if you”””re planning to eat this week.)
