(Click on the cartoon to enlarge, if you so desire.)

The Germans may possess the right attitude about Paris Hilton, but the Japanese cartoonists do seem to adore her. Oh yes, her image is destined to restore the classy reputation of the anime genre. Perhaps Japan’s love for American pop culture really has grown too excessive heights with each passing decade since their wartime defeat. Ya know, if they would have never bombed Pearl Harbor, a Paris Hilton anime character would have never existed. See, war really is evil, and I really am the Mind Fuhrer. Capiche?

Pamela Anderson: The Anti-MILF. Er…no elaboration necessary.

Have you recently experienced turbulence within your internet connection? If the answer is negative, this benevolent aura is due to the hand of Tom Cruise in singlehandedly saving Yahoo! from a most certain demise. “You don’t know the history of internet chat rooms. I DO.”

Finally, to apply mental floss and erase the damage the three above bimbettes most certainly have wreaked upon your intelligence, I point you towards The Commissar’s portrayal of Mr. Robertson’s Neighborhood. Pat Robertson is such an embarrassment to the Republican party – Does anyone know if Jessica Hahn is still available for gigs?