For years now, Steve-o of Jackass has been disturbing us, grossing us out, and generally demonstrating that a man can build a lucrative career out of genuine mental dysfunction (thanks, MTV!) But now he’s planning to take his annoyance factor to the next level: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you rapmaster Steve-o.

Theoretically, there are more abrasively obnoxious stunts he might pull—forming a clog-dancing troupe, maybe, or recording an album of accordion polkas with Johnny Knoxville backing him up on the musical saw. But it’s an awfully short list. And the list became nonexistent after Steve-o challenged Kevin Federline to some kind of rap-off, or
rap slam, or def rap jam:

“I’m officially challenging K-Fed to a rap battle,” Steve-O tells OK! about the diss track calling out Brit’s baby-daddy on his upcoming album, Hard as a Rock. “It’ll be just like that scene from 8 Mile! I know that K-Fed has his ‘acting’ career and all, but if he’s a real man, he’ll step up and battle me!”

I’d actually be tempted to see this, but for the fact that the event is likely to generate suck forces completely beyond anything known to modern cosmology. We’re talking suckitude that might well yank you into some Lovecraftian alternate universe where everyone is a rapper at the Steve-o/K-Fed skill level. Apropos of nothing, the team at fourfour has put together a video giving ten reasons why Celine Dion is better than you. That might or might not be true (although if we’re being honest here, it’s probably true), but if you watch it to the end you can hear Celine beatboxing. A little surreal, but enough to prove that Celine is definitely better than Steve-o and K-Fed.