Dear Tom Cruise,
As Peter Cetera once said, you are indeed a hard habit to break. Yet I couldn’t resist the inspiration provided by RTG, and while I do admit that I’m feeling quite glib about your career’s downward trajectory path (think Lindsay Lohan on a pile of cocaine), this is just too good not to talk about. As such, I am posting my favourite moments from the past sixteen months of Cruise madness:
Thank you, Tom Cruise, for teaching us that not everything that Oprah touches is golden:
Thank you, Tom Cruise, for jumping on that couch and letting us all know about the freak inside the closet:
Thank you, Tom Cruise, for opening up wide and saying “Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”
Thank you, Tom Cruise, for the poignant interpretation of ultimate narcissism and delusion:
Thank you, Tom Cruise, for exposing the horrors involved with a pair of low-rise jeans and no underwear:
Thank you, Tom Cruise, for questioning the facts:
Thank you, Tom Cruise, for believing in yourself because no one else does:
Now I feel so guilty that I must, I must, I must increase my bust post about Pete Doherty.
Gay kisses,
Agent Bedhead
8 comments
If he was a singer, they’d be wildly issuing ‘Greatest Hits’ jobs to catch the tailspin. FYI you forgot to thank him for the bangs
If he was a singer, wouldn’t he be releasing an album of American Standards a la Rod Stewart and a half dozen other washed up rockers?
No, thank you Tom Cruise…
A touching tribute to the man who’s given so much to the celeblogger….
“If he was a singer, wouldn’t he be releasing an album of American Standards a la Rod Stewart and a half dozen other washed up rockers? ”
And ironically, I believe one of those songs would be Rod Stewart’s “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy”. Of course the album wouldn’t be complete without his version of the Divinyls “I Touch Myself”.
Am I right?
i was thinkin he be more comfortable doing village people covers.
I don’t comment here much. But this subject is too good to pass up. Not since Michael Jackson haye I enjoyed the humiliation of an entertainment celebrity as much as this. It’s one thing for the guy to make shitty movies (and the great majority of them were, without a doubt) and make a gazillion dollars off of them. It’s quite another for him to go apeshit the way he did, and to think it wouldn’t have consequences. His being “fired” for being a freak is just too delicious for words.
On an unrelated note, What, oh what has happened to dear old beautifulatrocities? He doesn’t post at his own blog anymore, and I see from scanning our postings that he isn’t really “guest blogging” here anymore. Instead he embeds a link in his name that takes one to http://jodiemarsh.com !? Jeff can be enignamatic, but this beats all.
Jeff has been quite busy with “real life” lately, and I hope to see him blogging again here at some point. He’s started a new job, changed residences, and a whole host of other life changes. We all miss you, Gay Boyfriend.
Thanks for the brief update on Jeff. I remain a huge fan of his blog and wish him the best. The “goin through changes” stuff can be a real pain in the ass.
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