David Beckham, Tom Cruise, and Phallus
To elaborate on the above photo would be unusually cruel and rather unnecessary, and one should strive to avoid the pointless use of snark as well as redundant insults that would diminish those smackdowns of a compulsory nature. As such, this image of Becks and Cruise posing with an oversized bottle stands on its own. The Cruise has been v. generous to us lately with these photo ops, and we do not wish to disturb the force.
Hollywood Offender has an enlarged version. Tom Kreuzfahrt ist zu uns sehr freundlich!
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I do not know where to start with this one.
Remember when everyone thought that T.C. was hot?
Frankly, it’s been a while for me. And, now, seeing him standing next to Becks, well…
It ain’t getting any better.
Tom only looks good now when there’s no one else standing next to him.
‘Malleolus’?
As in those knobby things that protrude from our ankles?
At least tell me there’s a Greek God or something that goes by that name.
And, wait, is T.C. wearing an actual three-piece suit?
Did they get married?
Malleolus is served this time of year at Hogwarts to celebrate the midsummer gnome culling.
Those are jeans, ergo Cruise is not wearing a three-piece suit.
Yes, they just got married.
Yeah, you know wayyyyyyy too much about this Harry Potter crap.
If a mad scientist created a baby out of DNA from Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly and left it on Liberace’s doorstep, it wouldn’t be gayer than Tom Cruise looks in that photo now.
Scrumtrulescent!