Due to the pervading influence of L.Ron Hubbard, the fabulous Katie Holmes and not-so-fabulous Tom Cruise are no longer having sex – if they ever did so anyway.
Oh, say it ain’t so:
“An insider” tells In Touch Weekly that Tom Cruise “has put the brakes on their lovemaking.” It turns out that Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard “wrote that a mother-to-be shouldn’t engage in sex because it could negatively impact the baby.”
Two things about this little development – In the first place, unless Tom Cruise has an enormous penis, I seriously doubt any impact would be taking place. Secondly, when ladies are in this delicate condition, hormones go into overdrive and the sex drive generally goes through the proverbial roof.
Oh Katie, this is just the beginnning of your celebacy. Poor thing.
15 comments
Is there irrefutable evidence that they had sex to begin with?? I just find that so hard to believe.
Bedhead, I have to say the “enormous penis” isn’t required, because I actually did damage to my unit while having sex with my preggers wife many years ago.
(that’s right, I’ll admit to averageness:oops:)
My son obviously developed a sense of humor very early, and decided the time to drop in the womb was “on the upstroke”.
OUCH, was one of the many words I used.
The dent in his forehead cleared up by his 3rd birthday.
OMG. I am speechless. Someone take notes for me.
and i thought it was the 18hrs of non-dialated labor that left the bruises in my son’s head.
Someone tell Katie I’ll be glad to help her out…….
I said it before, Tom should have given Katie porn for her birthday! She’s going to need it!
Any anyway, how good can sex with Cruise be? He probably yells “I feel the need for speed” and how fun it that?
Gahrie, that’s so generous of you. She’s going to need lots of help.
When did Tom Cruise get so ugly, or has it just been gradual? I’m so disappointed, Scientology and freakness aside.
Hahahha. Good point Groovy Vic!
“Help me, help you.”
Ginuzz, It probably was the labor, your hubby would have let you know if it was the other reason, loudly.
I’m speechless. . .
Dear Tom:
They don’t stay young and dumb for very long, do they?
And please DO sit down and shut up.
Thank you,
Public Decency
Seriously, I believe the rumors that he’s not gay but impotent. A problem that likely psychological & easily addressed by psychotherapy, which is of course a no-no. Hence the attraction to whack-job cults
crazy politico: you callin me a homo?LOL
besides, The Blonde screamed over anything anyway. I thank God she’s screaming at somebody else now.
Sorry about that Ginuzz, read the reply and thought YOU were in labor.
I liked my wife’s labor when the first child was born. They knocked her out, I went had a beer and pastrami, and showed up in time for the delivery
Don’t they look like brother and sister in that picture? Sickos.