Certainly all of us have been following the whole Eason Jordan brou-ha-ha, and even if you haven’t followed it, just pretend…m’kay? This tour de force led to the resignation of this evil journalist, and by golly, that won’t be the last time this happens!

Oliver Willis is now calling for the resignation of Brit Hume. Precisely why he is doing this is unclear, other than the possibility of increasing his link-whoring status in the blogosphere. Oooh just a second…I am receiving a message. (Ducks under the desk. Whispering is heard.) Oliver, we would like to know if this is a blogging strike, presumably one that would only end upon the actual resignation of Mr. Hume. On behalf of the reality-based community, I would like to urge you to stop blogging altogether until the aforementioned goal is achieved. Moving right along…

Ladies and gents, an immeasurable danger exists in the journalistic world, and ’tis my duty to alert you to this impending cataclysm. A News Anchor is plotting to destroy the truth through a series of collagen injections, after which she continues to claim that her lips are ‘all-natural.’ Upon the final injection, which could take place at any moment, all collective notions of journalistic integrity will be obliterated as if they never existed.

Phase One: (See above photo.) This is what Ms. Dhue looked like before the collagen injections began. These were the innocent times when journalism was committed to ‘the truth.’ Notice the respectably large pout. Some would refer to these as ‘blowjob lips,’ and lemme tell ya, there is nothing wrong with that nickname. Oh but dark times followed soon after…

Phase Two: In this subsequent photo. Ms. Dhue’s lips are noticeably larger After the collagen began to take over Ms. Dhue’s persona, her newscasts began to take a distinct Nietzschean tone. In fact, just the other day, I do believe she slipped in a “The doer alone learneth,” followed by an “All things are subject to interpretation.” This deceit is getting out of hand, and the blogosphere must take a firm stance and call for the resignation of Ms. Dhue. If she continues, this is what we’ll be greeted one weekend morning by this:

Click photo for full effect.

OH THE HORROR! Look at her pretending those are her real lips. Soon, Ms. Dhue will be prefacing her newscasts by reciting, “The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception.” The media has shown a suspicious lack of concern to Ms. Dhue’s recent burgeoning interest in Jim Morrison’s studies of crowd control and manipulation. Why else would she be humming ‘Love Me Two Times” on Valentine’s Day, hmmmmm??? Oh let us not be complacent in this witch-hunt. We, the bloggers, will indeed settle this matter, and to borrow a phrase from Fox Mulder, The truth is indeed out there. Thank you for your patience and tenacity in this urgent matter.