Say what you will about Lily Allen: she might be abrasive, vulgar, and she might have the temper of a bratty six-year-old, but the girl has a Rain Man-like ability to remember a grudge. Some months ago–or, in terms of entertainment news, back in the Jurassic–Katy Perry joked that she was “a fatter version of Amy Winehouse, but a thinner version of Lily Allen.” Lily–who is abrasive, vulgar, and obnoxious, but not at all fat–took umbrage, and decided to turn this into a cross between the Middle East conflict and a fight between a couple of seventh-grade girls. Even after Perry apologized, Lily called her “crass” and said she modeled her style after Lily’s own. Now she’s threatening to take the fight to the next level:

I have Katy Perry’s number, someone did me a favour…. I’m just waiting for her to open her mouth one more time then it hits Facebook.”

For good measure, Lily’s also joined two Facebook groups: “I Hate Katy Perry and Her Dumb-Ass Song ‘I Kissed a Girl,’” and “Katy Perry? Who in the Hell Does She Think She Is?” To be honest, Lily Allen sort of intrigues me. She’s not particularly attractive, intelligent, or charming, but for some reason she doesn’t fill me with the luminously intense desire to kick her into the next time zone that I get from celebutards who aren’t nearly as gratingly unpleasant. Maybe we’re meant to be together.